Narcissist Recovery Blog

The DSM-V is due out in 2013 and speculation regarding upcoming revisions has caused a great deal of controversy in the mental health field. Some reports indicate the American Psychological Association (APA) will condense the personality disorders. While we cannot predict what the APA will do in its upcoming version, the focus of my next book will be the four Toxic Personalities we most frequently encounter in romantic relationships that prohibit healthy intimacy and closeness.

The Four Toxic Personalities

1) The Narcissist – This person is an elitist and exists to be adored and admired.
• The characteristics of this Toxic Personality describe the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
• A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.

"If, as Herod, we fill our lives with things, and again with things; if we consider ourselves so unimportant that we must fill every moment of our lives with action, when will we have the time to make the long, slow journey across the desert as did the Magi? Or sit and watch the starts as did the shepherds? Or brood over the coming of the child as did Mary? For each one of us, there is a desert to travel. A start to discover, And a being within ourselves to bring to life." ~ Author unknown

Elizabeth Edwards was an amazing woman. This statement is so true:

"In her life, Elizabeth Edwards knew tragedy and pain," President Obama said in a statement released by the White House. "Many others would have turned inward; many others in the face of such adversity would have given up. But through all that she endured, Elizabeth revealed a kind of fortitude and grace that will long remain a source of inspiration. Our thoughts and prayers are with her family and friends."

In light of recent news that the American Psychological Association (APA) is considering lumping Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) under Anitsocial/Psychopathic Type, I have done a great deal of reading to understand their reasoning.

It appears there are two schools of thought offering an explanation thus far. One school of thought is that Narcissism has become so commonplace and so encouraged in America that the APA will simply no longer recognize it as a disorder due to political reasons. I certainly hope this is not the case. I do not want to believe this theory, but it's out there and we need to acknowledge it.

Narcissists may hope for love and caring, but feel very uncomfortable if they seem to find it. Being in love makes them feel vulnerable and this terrifies them. They doubt the authenticity of real love and devalue anyone who loves them because they believe that person, like themselves, can never live up to their expectations of perfection.

Narcissists cannot grasp the concept of unconditional love that includes the acceptance of flaws. Love does not sustain them. Instead it feels unsafe. Admiration feels safer because it can be earned through achievements and credentials. Since these are things the narcissist can control, they feel much safer being admired, rather than loved.