Narcissist Recovery Blog

Why We Must 'Get Real, Wake Up and Heal' to Recover from the Narcissist

Loving someone who cannot return your love is agonizing and difficult to accept. However, the knowledge that no matter what you do, this person will never change is quite powerful, in my opinion. Once you understand this fundamental truth and accept it, a whole new world opens up to you. Your newfound knowledge should be liberating.

Please Share Eve Ensler's Letter to Todd Akin

More than 30,000 pregnancies are attributable to rape every year. I hope women realize that Mr. Akin's platform is the exact same platform as the Romney/Ryan Ticket and the Grand Old Party itself. There is nothing grand about that. Old, archaic and ignorant, YES, but not grand.

Dear Todd Akin,

I am writing to you tonight about rape. It is 2 AM and I am unable to sleep here in the Democratic Republic of Congo. I am in Bukavu at the City of Joy to serve and support and work with hundreds, thousands of women who have been raped and violated and tortured from this ceaseless war for minerals fought on their bodies.

It's All About Karma on "The Bachelor Pad"

Yes, “The Bachelor Pad” and its series of shows are admittedly a guilty pleasure of mine. I am fascinated by human behavior. I teach Organizational Psychology, write, blog and study human conduct every day.

I watched the “The Bachelor Pad” last night and must say that Erica Rose was downright brilliant in her thoughts and observations. In my opinion, Erica Rose is rose is a rose is a rose!

One thing I’m certain most HR professionals can agree on is that humans are capable of great deception. Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to human behavior. Every time I think I have seen it all, someone does something so deceitful that I come close to losing my faith in humanity as a whole.

Pain and Pleasure on The Path Forward

Goldie and The Path Forward support group will help get you where you really need to be - dealing with the pain. Now, I realize that being in the "midst of pain" does not sound all that appealing, but that's half the problem with our culture.

We have been so conditioned to avoid pain and seek pleasure when the reality is that life is an undeniable combination of BOTH Pain & Pleasure. The sooner we accept this, the sooner we are on our way to finally healing.

Countless songs and poems have been written about how pain does not exist without pleasure and pleasure does not exist without pain so why are we fooled into thinking we can achieve all or nothing in this regard or any regard for that matter.

Happy Independence Day!

To all those in the states, Happy Fourth of July! I will always be grateful to the men and women who fight for our freedom and never take it for granted. I hope all who celebrate enjoy a fun, safe and celebratory day today!

To all of us, regardless of where we live, Happy Independence Day!!!!!

The quotes in the link below really remind me how lucky I am to have my independence. I thought I would share with all of you in hopes that you appreciate the same!

Some of my favorites are:

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

“I'd rather die my way than live yours.”
― Lauren Oliver, Delirium

Matt Lauer Helps Peter Cook Prove his Own Narcissism on the Today Show

I am so saddened that Matt Lauer gave Peter Cook an opportunity to interview this morning after he forced Ms. Brinkley to discuss their marriage yesterday when she obviously did not want to and made that very clear to Mr. Lauer at the beginning of the interview.

Despite my disappointment in Matt Lauer, I am very glad this interview was given because it just further proves Peter Cook's raging narcissism.

Ms. Brinkley has not been on a television show for four years and the only reason she chose to go on The Today Show was to discuss her upcoming role in "Chicago," but Matt Lauer did not give her that chance yesterday and instead took it to the gutter to stir the pot for his personal friend, Peter Cook.

Who is the Narcissist...Peter Cook or Christie Brinkley?

For most of my readers, the answer to this question is as obvious as day is light, but for those who may not know a great deal about pathological narcissism, I'd like to explain why Peter Cook is the obvious narcissist here.

For the first time in four years, Christie Brinkley agreed to talk about her divorce from Peter Cook on the Today Show Tuesday morning. Really, she wanted to talk about her upcoming role in "Chicago" the longest running show in Broadway history, but agreed to first briefly discuss the noise her ex-husband, Peter Cook, has been making lately in his crazy attempts to call her a narcissist.

Why the Narcissist Always Turns from Idolizing you to Utter Contempt

Unfortunately, once a Narcissist is victorious and secures your love, the idolization phase of the relationship passes and his true colors emerge. You begin to see the pathology of his personality and realize he merely put on an act in the beginning of the relationship to win and secure your love. He becomes demanding and angry, unaware that you have needs or a separate self at all. He simply finds it impossible to see you as an independent entity.

“Women know intuitively when they are being devalued."
~ Robyn Silverman

Understanding the Narcissist's Madonna-Whore Complex

I've written much on this topic in my books and blogs before, but GreenGirl posted an article here that I must share with everyone because I think whenever we can hear different people's intepretations of the same thing, it helps tremendously.

Narcissists have intimacy issues and cannot see their partner in a healthy way. They are unable to see what most men dream of in a woman — someone who is both sweet and sexy at the same time. They cannot help categorizing people into one of two separate categories — saintly or sexy. They find it impossible to see someone as both. To them, someone is one or the other, but never both. This is what psychologists refer to as a Madonna-Whore Complex.

This Valentine's Day...

This Valentine's Day...

27% of men said their romantic resolution is to have sex with the lights on
80% of people think they will get lucky this Valentine's Day
Less than 50% of people had good luck last year
40% of women want to try something new and kinky this Valentine’s Day
85% of women surveyed own a sex toy
57% of people in a new relationship (less than one year) talk about sex every day
50% of the population is single
54% of women say they are in a relationship, but it is not with their soul mate….WTF?!!

Every year we celebrate Valentine’s Day in our culture, but what is it we are really celebrating?

Retrain Your Brain to Recover from the Narcissist

We had our first support group call last night and the amazing group of ladies in our meeting inspired me to write this blog on how we can and will recover.

In sharing all of our stories last night, one thing I learned is how different and unique all of our stories are, but how similar the pattern. We all fell for our narcissist for different reasons, but what we can all conclude is that we fell in the same way...hard, fast and blindly....and woke up in a similar manner...baffled, dumbfounded and stunned.

Some might say that falling in love blindly means you showed poor judgment, didn’t look at obvious signs or did not think responsibly. I beg to differ. I believe it means that you trusted in the good heart of someone else and decided to believe they were real.