The narcissist uses five main tools. These are gifts, affection, withdrawal, threats and violence, and in exactly this order.
1. Gifts: Gifts can be used in two ways. They can either be a symbol of submission or a symbol of demand. Free people generally do not give gifts because they have what they want and do not want to submit nor demand. The communication between the victim and the narcissist is based upon gifts. The narcissist gives gifts in order to make the victim depended. The victim in return accepts these gifts and returns far greater gifts in order to accept this submission.
The altruist on the other hand simply helps but does not give gifts either. Sometimes these 'gifts' can be flattery, good words, support and yes; 'love'. (faked of course)